Identity. It’s the essence of who you are—your personality, the core of your being. Selfhood, on the other hand, is the expression of that identity, the way you present yourself to the world.
Think back to a time when you had to show your identity card. Do you remember the reaction of the person you handed it to? Likely, they nodded in approval, having seen all the necessary information about you on that card. Your identity, in that moment, was defined by the details captured on that small piece of plastic.
But identity is more than just what's written on a card. It’s how you define yourself and how others perceive you. It’s the name you give yourself, the image you project, and the way people recognize you.
Selfhood is often conveyed through three key aspects:
- Dressing (Your Appearance)
- Actions (What You Do and How You Do It)
- Speech (The Words You Speak and How You Utter Them)
Dressing (Your Appearance)
There’s a common saying: "Appearance shows the manner." Wherever you go in life, your appearance is often the first thing that others notice. It sets the tone for how they judge you. A nurse, a lawyer, a market woman—they’re all identified by what they wear.
Many people underestimate the importance of dressing. They think it doesn’t matter, but it does—greatly. Some people are so indifferent that they’ll dress any way, for any occasion. Yet, it’s not just about what you wear, but how you wear it. The value of your attire isn't in its expense, but in its appropriateness for the occasion, setting, and purpose.
Building your personality and self-confidence begins with learning how to dress appropriately.
Actions (What You Do and How You Do It)
It's clear from our daily experiences that a person is often recognized by their actions. What you do and how you do it leaves a lasting impression. Your actions—your behavior, attitudes, and habits—define you.
In a way, we’re all artists, constantly acting out roles, while also observing others. Everyone is known and identified by the roles they play.
How do you play your role—as a youth, an adult, a professional? What do people say about you when you’re not around?
Every action you take places a description on you. People might say, "He’s a good man," or "I can vouch for her, she’s respectable." If you haven’t been mindful of your actions, start now. Consider how you approach and handle people and situations.
Speech (Words You Speak and How You Utter Them)
Speech is a powerful marker of identity. It can reveal not just what you think, but where you come from and who you are.
Your words can take you far in life. You might dress well and behave perfectly, but if you don’t know how to speak well, your identity could suffer.
A person whose speech is harsh and unkind will find it difficult to gain respect or maintain relationships. Many people have driven away customers or friends with careless words. No one wants to engage with someone who cannot speak with kindness.
Let your speech be seasoned with peace, patience, and joy. People will appreciate you for it. Good words attract good people, while harmful words push them away.
Learn to honor others with your words. Even if your dressing isn’t perfect, respectful speech can elevate your identity.
Remember, as you observe others, they are also observing you. Whatever they see in you, they will identify you by.
Build a good identity for yourself and make your selfhood something desirable.
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